Hello and welcome,
I hope that my 24 Hour blog helps to lessen the stigmas associated with addiction and mental health disorders, to provide insight and hope to those in recovery and those dealing with mental health disorders. Selfishly, I hope that writing also keeps me sober and sane one day at a time. Since the diseases and disorders that I will be blogging about cross all religions, races, genders, and socioeconomic backgrounds, I will try to stay away from too many personal details in my posts. This is not because I am ashamed, but merely because I would prefer people to identify with the posts, as opposed to compare themselves to them. The worse thought someone can have is “See I am not really that bad.”
As I write this post, I have been sober for 22 days! Unfortunately, this is not my first or longest attempt at sobriety. I have been fighting with addiction for the last 14 months, and have been battling my anxiety disorder for 13+ years. In the last year, I had a few runs of 30-60 days of sobriety, and I have sought medication and therapy for my anxiety disorder. Yet I have become so overwhelmed with anxiety at times that I always return to alcohol. Each time I return, my anxiety gets worse and my addiction picks up right where it left off – more often, worse than before.
So why is this time different? I am going to get out of my own way. I am going to stop thinking. I’m going to listen to those who have successfully dealt with anxiety and addiction. Most importantly, I am going to take it one day at a time. 24 hours is all we have… sometimes we only have an hour or this moment, but we must remember that we do not have to worry about the next minute or hour or day. If we stay sober in this moment or day, then we will be able to deal with whatever happens next. Someone told me recently that “Figure it Out” is not an AA or NA slogan. Once I realized and internalized this, it was a huge burden lifted off of my shoulders.
“It takes a lot of strength to ride the storm of addiction, but it’s worth it.” ~ Maggie Swann
Don’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow, just stay sober today and it will all work out.